


Just Add Water

by Slashcan (AngstandPizzaRolls)



Category: Daria (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Shipwrecked, Episode: s3e12 Just Add Water
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-06-28
Packaged: 2018-04-06 16:47:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4229382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngstandPizzaRolls/pseuds/Slashcan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A group of students and teachers go overboard after an accident on Casino Night</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Add Water

Daria hadn’t wanted to come on this stupid cruise in the first place. The sleep deprivation was bad enough, but being stuck surrounded by her classmates with no escape but the sweet release of death from the sea that would claim her if she tried to fare it. There was a moment when she thought it wasn’t so bad, when she and Jane found the lounge chairs and were able to sleep in peace for a few minutes before the ruckus inside woke them.  
Jane suggested they find a new place to nap, preferably somewhere far from the noise and chaos of Lawndale high school’s Casino Night cruise from hell. There was a set of lifeboats at the back in a relatively deserted part of the ship and though one seemed to be occupied by hormonal teenagers they weren’t being too loud. So Daria and Jane lay in the bottom of the other boat and let the gentle swaying rock them into a deep and undisturbed sleep. 

When the whispering behind her back started to get really bad, Quinn considered asking her sister for advice on how to handle the situation. Surely someone as unpopular as Daria had to be used to people talking bad about her. She’d know what to do.  
But when she went to the lounge chairs where she knew her sister was sleeping, she saw Daria and Jane disappear around the corner. Following hurriedly, she didn’t dare call out in case someone saw that she was seeking out the attention of those losers lest it soil her reputation any more. She wasn’t able to reach them before they climbed into a lifeboat at the back of the ship but she clambered in as gracefully as she could manage in her ball gown and ducked down quickly so no one would see her with them.  
Without waiting for prompting, she began to spill her story and all her complaints with several appropriately dramatic waves of the hand and hair flips.  
Daria barely twitched and Jane let out a little snore. 

Timothy was running for his life, searching for a hiding place. After Mrs. Barch had come upon him and Dede in such a compromising position, she was enraged and the two women started fighting. He tried to break it up as best he could but those women were strong and vicious and very possessive. When Timothy got in the line of fire, Mrs. Barch had turned on him and he wasn’t sure if she was planning affection or harm but there was crazy in her eyes, so he ran. It was entirely too much unwanted female attention for his tastes.  
He was used to Mrs. Barch throwing herself at him whether he like it or not. There was a time when he enjoyed it, but she was just so angry all the time, blaming men for everything. No matter how optimistic he tried to be it was hard not to take it personally. He didn’t have a problem with men. He liked them a lot actually and he didn’t really know why Mrs. Barch would let one bad experience make her so bitter. It really wasn’t healthy.  
And that foam coming from the side of her mouth couldn’t be too healthy either. He needed to find shelter and fast. So he dove head first into the first nook he saw, which happened to be a lifeboat. 

If anyone was stupid enough to buy this knockoff watch from Anthony, he knew it would be Kevin. He just had to find that little punk and then he could get back to his poker game. He was just one hand away from a winning streak, he could feel it. He just needed a little more cash.  
He stepped outside into the cold air after circling the entire interior, looking for Kevin. The breeze felt nice and relaxing. It almost made it not so unbearable to be away from the game for so long.  
There was activity in the back of the ship, so he gravitated towards that, still keeping an eye out for the quarterback but not as urgently as before. He could hear the other Morgendorfer’s voice prattling on and breaking up the peace and quiet of the night and just when he was about to give up and return to the party, he saw Kevin’s head pop up from the other lifeboat.  
“Kevin!” He exclaimed, startling all the students into bolting upright. Daria and Jane looked sleep muddled and groggy, Quinn slightly annoyed at being interrupted, and Kevin and Brittney mussed and embarrassed.  
The sudden movement caused one of the ropes holding Brittany and Kevin’s lifeboat tethered to the boat snapped and they went careening with loud shrieks. Anthony dove toward them, instinct kicking in before he really had a chance to think about it he was wrestling with the ropes.  
“Do you think we should help them?” Jane murmured so only Daria could hear as they looked on blankly.  
“It looks like they have it all under control.” Daria said. Just as she finished, the ropes fell away and Mr. Demartino went tumbling into the water after the two teenagers and the boat.  
“Oh my gosh.” Quinn squealed. “We should go get help.”  
“You do that.” Daria said, laying back down. “I’m going back to sleep.”  
“Daria!” Jane said, more lively than she had any right to be with as little sleep as the two of them had had.  
“What?” She asked defensively but before Jane could scold her callousness, a large body came careening into their boat and it rocked precariously. The ground fell away from their feet and all four bodies went plunging into the depths below. 

Daria struggled to the surface and sucked in huge lung-fulls of air. Beside her she could the others sputtering and splashing. Looking around, she located the lifeboat sh had fallen out of. Jane had already made it inside and was pulling in Mr. O’Neil aboard.  
The light was fading as the ship sailed away, leaving them with only the light of the moon and the stars.  
She could see Quinn was struggling to stay afloat, her long dress tangling around her legs and making it harder and harder to tread water. Daria looked between her sister and the boat and made her decision a moment later, wrapping her arms around Quinn and dragging her to relative safety. The other boat had made it over to them, led by Mr. Demartino and oars powered by strong quarterback arms.  
“Is everyone alright?” Mr. O’Neil asked his voice even more breathy than usual. There was a general murmur of agreement and discomfort as five students and one other teacher wrung out their dripping clothes and hair.  
“My dress is ruined!” Quinn lamented, pulling her heels off and inspecting them for water damage. “and my hair! Uh, could this get any worse?”  
Like the god that hated her was listening, Daria thought, it started raining just to make their night a little worse.  
“We have to get back to the ship.” Mr. O’Neil raised his voice to be heard over the pouring rain and tried to look into the dark to see the lights of the ship, but they had all but disappeared.  
“We’d have better luck rowing to shore.” Mr. Demartino said. Timothy was surprised to see him so calm. Earlier in the night he’d been strung out and half-crazy but now he was filled with a quiet strength and authority that demanded following. He was a little relieve that he didn’t have to take sole responsibility for these kids, glad Anthony was here to lead them all to safety.  
They made a valiant effort to reach the shore but the water was dragging them farther and farther out, the beach becoming a distant memory. They weren’t strong enough to battle the waves and the storm. Realizing this, Anthony tethered the two boats together so they didn’t drift too far apart then instructed everyone to hunker down on under the tarp he’d managed to salvage after his boat capsized initially.  
“What a delightful turn of events.” Daria intoned, barely able to be heard over the rain beating down on their feeble shelter.  
“It’s more interesting than Casino Night.” Jane shrugged. “And who knows, maybe when they give up searching for our bodies, we’ll get our own memorial tree.”  
“What?” Quinn shrieked and Brittany started sobbing. The calm that had settled over Mr. Demartino had been replaced with annoyance, grinding his teeth when Kevin said, “Cool.”  
“We just need to make the best of a bad situation.” Mr. O’Neil assured everyone. “This will be a wonderful story to tell when we get home. It would make a great short story, don’t you think Daria?”  
“That depends.” Daria said.  
“On what?” Mr. O’Neil asked in good spirit.  
“On whether or not we have to eat one of us to survive.” She said cooly. The corner of Jane’s lip curled up like she was fighting back her smile. Brittany sobbed harder.  
“Yes. Thank you Timothy and Daria for your insightful input.” Anthony said, venting his frustration by stressing every vowel and making the t at the end of the sentence as sharp as the crack of a whip. It was the same tone he used when he asked a simple question in class and got twenty stupid answers for all his work. Kevin was very familiar with that tone.


End file.
